Middle Ground

And there you were, somewhere between reality and dreams,

Where the lines blur and the sea meets the sky,

An ethereal blue, all around, for as far as the eyes can see.

 

We fell in love, somewhere between midnight and morning,

Most of what we had, oscillated like a pendulum,

Taking in its wake the full spectrum of feelings.

 

Either we were word pairs or the pieces of an incomplete puzzle,

Middle ground never existed,

Now here you are, once again.

 

I don’t know what to term you,

Love or like? Friends or lovers?

For the longest time I decided to not name you,

Back into familiar warm corners.

 

Beyond being branded into boxes,

Like torrential rains during summer,

Confusing meteorologists, labels and conventions, all alike.

 

Visible mess,

Infallible guess,

Incomplete address,

Nonetheless.

 

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Chocolate, People and Midnight Cravings

The exact time right now is 2.15 am (Indian Standard Time) and here I am wolfing down chocolates because, well frankly I’m bored and on an emotional rollercoaster ride. Well this is going to be a rant/ conversation with myself since out of the two people I would want to talk to, one happens to be my ex bf and the other is fast asleep, in all honesty I did wake the best friend to talk but he kept dozing away to glory so, three cheers to writing absolute nonsense on the internet.

There is an immense lack of good looking guys to stare at, now if I am forced against my will (not exactly) to spend three hours listening to Direct Tax Provisions, the least bit that could be in my favour would be a couple of hot guys (ala George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise style) but, no. Out of 250 odd kids, there isn’t one decent guy!

And I have been warned by my friends to not get into the relationship phase with people, to stay single for a while till the pain vanishes away ( which btw I doubt), so that I can minimize the collateral damage that I would be causing on others. For now it is going to be NSP for me.

If you did wonder what NSP means, it stands for Netra Sukh Praapti, and I seem to be at a loss of words for the English version of it, maybe something on the lines of staring subtly at hot guys.

There are so many people around but hardly anyone to talk to, either you have the crowd that thinks that since you are making a conversation with them, you secretly love them and since you are a North Indian, automatically means that you are open to having sexual relationships!? I have no clue as to how making conversation equals making love!?

And then you have the second set, who are nice to talk to, but then they get a bit too personal for my liking. Just because I speak to someone for a few minutes everyday other day, give or take 2-3 times a week doesn’t make me eligible to give them advice on their life/relationships. I remember this one girl who used to type these long sagas of her love life and I would reply with the courteous okay/hmm before she confided that she was running away with her boyfriend and I was to not tell about this to another living soul, and thanked me for relationship advice when I gave none, that bit scared me into crawling back into the introvert shell.

Every now and then I miss talking to people, random ones with whom you could share your entire life history, problems, quirks and get to know theirs too. But what does happen is that you get pulled into their daily rigmaroles too and right before you know it, this talking exercise becomes a chore.

And I hate/dread messages, if you want to talk to someone, give them a call or write a long interesting mail! And I’m slightly weird that way, I can easily pour out my heart’s troubles to a stranger, knowing very well that I won’t be judged or gossiped about. And I don’t understand the concept of having to make small talk with people. If I need a favour, I am going to ask it to you, straightforward. No beating around the bush with hello and his for a week and then asking for a favour.

And that talking shouldn’t be something that is a burden of sorts. I don’t talk to one of my closest friend for a year and can just give her a call some day and talk at length for hours, not bound by the social convention of bombarding her with incessant calls/texts or making plans to meet.

I wish more people were that way or you had some app that let you connect to a random decent stranger, decent being the key word with whom you could talk to your heart’s content for a few hours and the both of you could remain anonymous, now isn’t that a good idea?!

And I will rest my case here, after eating 2 dairy milk silks, 2 packets of Hershey’s chocolate syrup, 3 bricks of Hershey’s Dark chocolate, here I am craving for Warm Double Chocolate Chip Cookies.

Maybe I am hopeless afterall, Sigh! If it weren’t for chocolate to give me company during these dark times, I wonder what would happen to me, or would I find new love in fresh Strawberry Ice cream? 😉