Happy Birthday to Me

Its 2 in the night, or the morning, somedays time seems to lose all of its vague significance. People say don’t waste time, that time flies, yet there are days that pass like years and others when you fall into such a grind that all days seem the same. Time loses its effort of being put into boxes of seconds, minutes and years, all muddled.

In the arms of a lover, seconds feel like centuries, that heartbeat was one that lasted for ages, witnessed the rise and fall of kingdoms, the birth of stars, yet never is enough. You could lie wrapped in those arms for years, and that wouldn’t still be enough.

Why all these thoughts?

It’s my birthday today. Another year passes and I can feel my soul getting older, or younger, wanting to be nestled in a blanket, listening to Janacek Sinfonietta, and also being buried in an avalanche of balloons. Or wolf down two big bowls of chocolate ice cream, this for all you know maybe the ice cream high talking.

Another year and still the same relationships. I try to not let things mean too much, some things can’t be fixed, maybe they aren’t broken that requires mending, maybe that is the way that they are supposed to be.

Called my twin sister to wish her, all that she did was cut the call. Well still better to acknowledge my call instead of pretending that I don’t exist.

The funny thing being that I hate telling people that it is my birthday, or those 12am calls. Like an old bird, I prefer a warm hug, long conversations, mails or letters and chocolates, instead of a HBD (height of being lazy) on whatsapp or a forcible facebook wish, one that refuses to step down the top of the notification bar.

This year I make no promises of being strong, being better, getting over people, building/burning bridges. This year I want to breathe, and feel free. Do nothing, let the waves push past me, leave those chains of ambition and walk on the grass, let problems and confusion tie themselves in a knot and be undone on their own, not bother, take a hot bath and let my thoughts flow.

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34 thoughts on “Happy Birthday to Me

  1. Happy Birthday my old young heart! This just another day to enjoy, be enveloped in warm hugs(even virtual ones) and do what the heart desires.

    Oh Your sister situation reminds me a little of Friends( Phoebe & Ursula). Have you seen it? If you do maybe it cheers you up

    xhugsx

  2. Aaah so many thoughts I could relate with…I’ve the same kind of resolution this year. Being positive and going with the flow isn’t as easy as people make it to be. Sometimes just keeping your head above water is hard let alone swim among the waves.
    I know you may not like being wished happy birthday but here is a big warm fuzzy (virtual) hug for you ❤

    Here's to having a good year ahead, much love to you ❤

  3. A bit late but hey everyday should be happy even if its not the birthday 😉 happy belated birthday to you and a happy new year too! Have a wonderful year ahead! 🙂

  4. Letting go of everything that hurts and blocks is a great idea. Forgiving others and ourself brings a refreshing, sweetness to our soul. Best wishes to you in this new year and thanks for stopping by Poetry for Your Soul and liking my joke for the new year. 👍

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