I lay on the bed, and stare at the dilapidated wall, parts of the paint scrape, fall and bleed.
A myriad of craters, cracks and colors.

Fading pinks, concrete, dirty green moss and the burnt red bricks.

Strangely it reminds me of you, of how we were. Like a fresh coat of glistening paint, it brought out the best in us. Sparkling eyes brimming with dreams, the madness of love, a heart filled with the hope of new beginnings.

With time, the novelty wore off, life tends to do that.
New mountains to scale, pretty faces and a hundred roads to explore.

Insecurities and desire seeped in, with the occasional bout of jealousy and a twang of regret. Water had done its damage on the wall, parts of it peeled, exposing the hard cement underneath and an unwarranted growth of moss.

Do you recollect that day?
Remember how when I asked you if we should try and mend it, youΒ  brushed away my concerns.
The wall is strong enough to withstand a few tragedies and it is just a wall, you scowled, gritting your teeth.

You see my love, like the peeling paint, I knew you had gone. Albeit not completely, one painful step after another, away from me.

As you left, I asked you one last time, was there anything that we could do to save us, a fresh coat of paint maybe?
All you did was pound your fist on the wall, and complain that no amount of paint could make up for the troubled surface.

Here I am, staring at the wall, again.
Makes me appreciate the wonder of ruins, scars, stories and the secret maps to one’s heart.


23 thoughts on “Wall

  1. ‘No amount of paint could make up for the troubled surface.’ Is that a ‘complaint?’ Not Reality? And troubles only on the ‘surface’ of the wall? And Only from One side? πŸ™‚

    • I don’t honestly know if it was a complaint, he sent me a mail recently saying how much he still loves me. It’s strange how one person’s confusion can put the other in pain and unsure of theirs..

      Reality being that all of us have our quirks, that’s what makes us who we are. Fortunately or unfortunately, some scars run deeper..

      The problem with me is that I never stop loving, sometimes it’s not good to only keep someone’s good, distorts reality…

      • My Dear ST, I would appreciate it very much if You could be a bit clearer in what You write. Paragraphs and a bit of editing would surely be very useful.

        All that being so, It finally depends upon Us. The person in question can be Confused, Annoying, Untrue, whatever. It is How I am going to deal with it that matters.

        Frequently I use the example of Dogs Barking, or Dog Poo on the Road. These are examples of the ‘situation.’ Do We EVER stand and pay attention to that Poo? Don’t We pass on? WHY pay attention to the Poo of life?

        However deep Your scar may run, You can either choose to remain with that (wound) or decide to proceed on with life.

        No number of e-mails or phone calls would make me return to Negative persons.

        You write: ‘I never stop loving.’ Do You think We have stopped loving? Actually, what You want to say is: ‘I do not want to stop loving this person.’

        That is Your choice. And the peace or lack of it will be there, as a result. You choose.

        Finally, I could not understand Your words: ‘it’s not good to only keep someone’s good, distorts reality.’


    • Thank you! πŸ˜€
      Aap bhi bade hi kamaal ke ho, I incessantly stalked your blog as soon as I started blogging again. Seems like I have spread the lazy bug πŸ˜› I miss your posts! πŸ™‚

      • Haha, If there was a competition of laziest person on Earth, I’d probably win it unopposed ! πŸ˜€

        I’m trying to be more consistent with blogging, keeping my fingers crossed. Life is a bumpy ride, you never know!

        Cheers to having an adventurous new year- and May the blogging force be with you πŸ˜€

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