Gandhi

A silver boy he is,

Mini version of the father of the nation,

Loin cloth around his waist and bare footed he sat,

With the standard steel rimmed spectacles and a dirty green cap on his head,

Keeping his fast all day, excepting for a bottle of water,

Sitting on a dirty crowded street, amidst the loud noise of vehicles,

His only aim, to earn a note of the man he is dressed up as.


I clicked this picture while crossing the road, for a country that is proud of a man who managed to bring a revolution, all that we can use his image as, is a begging bowl for a child. 

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Second Chances and Midnight Ramblings

Well its past midnight here, Indian standard Time and I’m rambling mindlessly on the internet, yet again, while all that I’m supposed to do is to sleep since I have a class at 6.30 tomorrow morning.

But then I decided to use my cloak of anonymity to profess my intense liking (not as anonymous as most of you would have found out by now, damn, need to change those settings), maybe because I’m too coward to do anything about it, or maybe because things are meant to be this way.

On second thoughts, I should probably rename my blog to ‘Ramblings of a non-existent love life’.

There are people whom you look at, and go, ‘Oh! He’s hot!’ and then there are others for whom you can endlessly pine and brood over. Over the past 8 years. And here’s my story, of how I prefer writing about him in blogs, but never talk to him about it, or for that reason, talk to him.

We spoke to each other yesterday, and he was drunk, as in not the I-don’t-know-what-I’m-talking drunk, but maybe the general happy drunk (if such sort of a thing exists). And as I type this, I can recollect our conversation with amazing clarity and still manage to laugh and sigh over his unmistakable tamil accent and the song that he sang.

The thing is that he is my best friend’s best friend, and we don’t talk, well to be fair, we have had two drunk conversations (one’s where he was drunk, and yapped and yapped while all I did was listen, giggle and try to make conversation).

I have no idea why I like him, so much, isn’t 8 years a time period too long to have a crush on someone? Plus I have also been in relationships, but he is there in the back of my head, always, somewhere.

Just sometimes you find that person who is close to perfect, and to be fair, you should take your chances while you still have them. I know for a fact that he is dating someone, and yesterday when he told me that we probably should talk to each other during the times that he isn’t drunk too, my heart stopped, for a few seconds.

That was when realisation struck me, I have had plenty of opportunities to talk to him, but I did nothing about it, just to know that I like him maybe is enough for me, than to take the risk of actually getting to know someone whom I have fancied for years, ultimately to try and ask him out and to be put down (a very kind phrase for being rejected) scares me.

Yeah, I sound pathetic right now, but maybe I lost my second chance. I knew that he liked another girl for a long time, which was excuse number one for me to keep distance, and then she dismissed his feelings when he confessed the same to her, and about a year or two later, he started dating a colleague of his, that is not an excuse but a valid reason to not think about him, to add to this, he is moving abroad for the next two years to pursue his masters.

If I were to start talking to him, this being a completely hypothetical situation, it would feel weird to talk to a guy whom I have a major crush on but who is already with someone else, that, is not a nice place to be in. Which is why when he asked me why we didn’t talk to each other at times when both of us were sane, I laughed it away. Atleast if I did blurt out that I like him a lot during one of the drunk conversations, I could always blame alcohol and poor hearing powers and cell phone reception.

Sometimes, I wish I never knew you, that way I would have another chance at you, not being your best friend’s best friend, but by being me, with the underplayed wit, not-so obvious sense of humour, and general clumsiness.

For all those out there who happen to read this piece of mindless rambling, if you have a crush, be it in the past, present, or present continuous tense, the wiser thing would be to man/woman up about it and let them know how you feel.

Maybe the feelings won’t be reciprocated and you will feel like you have made a complete mess of things, but that is way better than to think about all the what if’s and keep those emotions pent up, and write about them at midnight like me.

And if it turns out to be all rosy, then you will know what love feels like.

Second chances are rare, use them up when you can, because miracles have an expiration date too.

Will you?

Will you wait for the silence to break?

Will you stay till the heart stops to ache?

Will you give me your warm arms on cold nights?

Will you sail with me even when it isn’t sunny and bright?

Will you still be there knowing that there is no light,

When all I can give you, is darkness to fight,

Will you dance with my demons?

To the Derek Shepherds, Shahrukh Khans and Mr. Darcys

To all the Derek Shepherds, Shahrukh Khans, and Mr.Darcys,

If I haven’t been able to fall in love and stay in love, you are to be blamed for.

You see, you are 50 shades of love, lust, wit and charm. You teach people how to wear their heart on their sleeve, stand by others through their good and bad, even in the times that nothing goes right and life is a mess, you manage not to crumble into a pile.

And I’m in love with you, all of you!

Some days all the solace that I can find, is in your words, your voice, your smile and to realise that you are either fictional/ undateable is grief at its helm.

For now all I can do is sigh…


This post is in response to a challenge set by my twin and fellow SRK lover, and the new shaitaan on the blog 😛 :D, since this was a no adjectives challenge and to notch it up higher, I decided to write one for the men I love

And if you do try it out, at your own risk, do let me know! 🙂

Edit – I have nominated the super pretty, intelligent ( she won a quiz competition at Japan ), fellow animal lover, McDreamy luster, future co-dragon owner and soul sister for this challenge! 😀 Do check out her entry too!

Cats and Bags

IMG_20150622_105433

This post is a part of Mundane Monday Challenge, and now in hindsight I realise that this isn’t a great photo, but this cracked me up the day I set my eyes on it! 😀

I have this extremely bad habit of misplacing my things, more so my books and I throw a crazy tantrum if I can’t find them, loose papers and the calculator which is why my parents have bought me these jute bags in which I dump all my books, and lug it around whenever I sit to study 😛

Unconditional love and woofs

As soon as I saw this post on the reader, my heart sank, completely.

Indian Drifter is one of the first bloggers that I spoke to when I started this blog, and I still remember during one of those conversations she spoke about her dog, Zoya. One who is like Marley and loves mangoes, who is equally mischievous and a delight.

And today that she is no more, I feel like some amount of love from this world has gone, forever.

Every day in the morning my half-pet visits me, some days when he is in the mood to play, he scratches all over the bedsheet that I pull over my head and sleep, and during other days, will silently perch his head on my leg and doze away.

A friend of mine, adopted and nursed back to health two very ill strays, and sat next to one all night, gently stroked and patted her dog, as it passed away due to kidney failure, all the while telling her that she was a good dog and she loved her.

Just a few days back as I was waiting at the bus-stop, a group of stray dogs along with their pups, about 7 of them pranced around the busy waiting legs and the benches. The little ones bit and pulled each other’s tails and chased each other, whereas the dogs just lay idle, scrounging for food. I always carry a few biscuits in my bag, so I tossed a few to them and they busily fought over them.

But amongst them, there was this one dog who crouched in a corner, shivering. Around that time a rag picker came along and all the dogs huddled around his legs and followed him to the end of the bus stop, abandoning the biscuits and finding solace in his company. As soon as this man sat down, the dogs jumped on him, licked his face and hands, playfully bickering for his attention. He searched his sack for food, and offered them some, which was when he saw the other dog crouched in a corner.

The dog angrily growled when he saw this man approach him. The rag picker, unfazed sat next to him and caressed the dog’s shivering back and legs. And the dog crept onto his lap and silently whined.

I looked at them, wondering how often we do that for each other. We are blessed with the power of speech and words, but how often do we use it to express love, gratitude, share someone else’s pain?

This is for you, Zoya. May you find all the mangoes to binge on, in heaven.

zoya1

“A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water logged stick will do just fine. A dog doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he’ll give you his. How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?”

– Marley & Me

Of lists of love and hate

I was nominated by the lovely prajakta for the love-hate challenge, and here goes my list!

Ten things that I love –

  • Shahrukh Khan, the love of my life and I pretty much objectify him so he has to top this list! I love this man, to the moon and back.
  • The tingle that I feel when I read a romantic conversation between two protagonists in a book, needn’t be entirely romantic, witty flirting works too.
  • Reading a book over a cup of coffee in a fortress of pillows and blankets while it’s raining outside.
  • A cup of strong chai after a long day at work.
  • Chocolate/ice cream/ brownies/ cake (you get the gist, right?) on the days that I feel like nothing is in my favour, to just take a big bite of it and surrender for the day. Or ponder on life’s problems over a plate of steaming hot pav-bhaji, chocolate milkshake and dahi puri 😛
  • Long late night conversations and jamming sessions.
  • Handwritten letters.
  • The hindi songs of the 60s and 70s, because there can be no voice more melodious than Rafi’s or Mukesh’s or for that reason Kishore Kumar too!
  • Watching the latest Bollywood releases, I try to catch up on almost every decently watchable movie alone and then manage to sing all the songs out loud 😛 Yeah, if you have heard your neighbour annoyingly singing the songs in the theatre, there is a very high chance that we have already met 😀
  • To finish what I had planned for the day, that feeling of achievement when I tick things off my to-do lists.

Ten things that I hate –

  • People who spit and litter.
  • Not saying please and thank you while asking/ after taking favours/things.
  • When small talk is made just for asking a favour, why beat around the bush?!
  • Extra chirpy people when you are discussing extremely sad events. If you don’t bring your sad stories or chocolate and its cousins to the table, please don’t even bother!
  • Not finding things at the moment that I need them, the rest of the time the damn things keep running around creating a mess!
  • People who don’t respect others, be it anyone, rich or poor, pretty or ugly. It takes a little to give someone else the dignity that they deserve.
  • When people knowingly cross limits, be it in relationships or friendships.
  • When we don’t realise that it takes little to make a difference, if people like us try and act helpless when all it takes is to raise your voice or make a little donation, as much as it costs for a cup of coffee at a fancy place.
  • When people throw stones or harass street dogs.
  • Eve teasers.

And I nominate –

Principessa

Behen

Himanshu

Gail

Mallee stanley

Ady

Roopal

Rob

Izza Ifzaal

baby steps 😛

Kriti