Lifelong?

The disappearing act that has been pulled off by me in the past few days has completely to do with my sister’s engagement which is on the 25th! 🙂 Because of which I will be invisible till the 27th  😦

Somehow the concept of marriage scares me, after all how well do you know the person you are in love with? What if it wasn’t love in the first place? What if after you get married, you meet the love of your life?

Which is why I have been asking my sister, time and again if she is sure. More importantly, how do you know that he is the one?

I just had this conversation with her for the hundredth time and she had just one answer – ‘No one ever knows.’ She explained me the reason for the same too.

You don’t love a person looking at how much he earns, because in that case you love his money and not him, the same holds good with one’s physical appearance, and once he loses that particular trait, the person loses his value.

But when you love someone for who they are, no conditions attached and they love you just the same, you know that as time passes, people change and strangely it won’t affect you because it still remains the same person you loved despite the changes.

And no one knows what the future holds, it may so happens that the person you married turned out to be all that you feared, life doesn’t end there. You try to make things work out and if still the situation turns out to be hopeless then you just walk away. But what if it does work out? No one guarantees you happiness for an entire lifetime, apart from their unrelenting support through the highs and lows of life.

Does that mean that you wait for the right person to come along? Maybe you take the chances with the one who feels the right-est at that point of time in life. No doubt that there are and will be better men than the one you get married to, be it education or career or behavior wise but you decide who is the one for you. The grass is always greener on the other side is the common feeling but then why should it stop you from taking chances?

Now that I know her answer, it’s comforting to know that though she has listened to her heart, she is taking her brains along with her too! 😀

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40 thoughts on “Lifelong?

  1. Yes, love is very strange thing. And marrying the person who you want to spend the rest of your life with – even more strange. But sometimes it’s just a science called chemistry. And a lot of adjustments. Oh yes, I speak with the experience of having been with my better half for over 13 years now.

    • Oh! 🙂
      I hope it lasts till eternity! 🙂
      Love is very subjective… I have somehow turned into a person who doesn’t favour love..

      Btw on a random note, absolutely love the mugshot! 😀 Please do post the diaper escapades! 😛 😀

      • It’s like they say – if you care enough to make it work, it will 🙂 ‘Love’ is just like anything else – we need to constantly work on it.

        More diaper escapades coming up soon 😀

      • But the point being that two people need to work on it, one person handling the lion’s share of work is exhausting and tedious..additionally people don’t realise that love takes work and effort, unfortunately it doesn’t magically turn out to be perfect unlike movies and books!

        Eagerly waiting!!! 😀

      • Oh yes! It’s pretty much a ‘give and take’ scenario. Both of them will need to do that equally to. I think movies and books make ‘romance’ and ‘love’ seem perfect – when the reality is that, there is no perfect love. 🙂

  2. your sister’s thought is really very practical. best wishes for her life:)
    if you expect too much (means except love and honesty) then you will never find something like eternal, love and honesty will last for life long, money, status will change as time passes.
    Frankly even i don’t know all about this, but i want only love and honesty from my partner nothing more 🙂

    • Precisely!!
      Further somehow i feel sad for the guys because they are always expected to be the bread winners and in this race of having a higher standing than their wife, love loses its way…

      • it is true for both men and women. now about passion, my passion is something else but doing something else. some time responsibility come first some time your passion or work. i am not going to blame anyone. it just see these things as it is. i can go forward with my passion leaving behind everyone and everything and may be i can achieve but what after this there will be no one except me……….
        my best wishes for your passion (hoping your family and close one with you) 🙂

  3. The right person won’t even give you a chance to wonder any of those questions, he’ll just simply be someone you won’t ever doubt cause he won’t give you reason to 🙂

  4. Oh! I get you totally. How do you KNOW?? Signals, heartbeats, dreams all get mixed up… add to it the ten different recommendations coming from the aunts and uncles. There is just no way but to embrace and walk in with arms, heart and brains wide open.

    I had written this sometime back. I think it really applies to us women in India with the whole arranged v/s love marriage conundrum – https://anarmchairperfectionist.wordpress.com/2014/10/03/socs-find-to-love-or-toss-a-coin/

    • I’m not anti any form of marriage that leads you to a good guy 😀 (read well mannered, good sense of humour, feminist, romantic, sensible, kind, smart, intelligent, adventurous and can cook too!)

  5. Yeah love is confusing…but I guess one just knows it anyway…Love transcends with time…changes from puppy love to something more mature and even passionate…But to enjoy anything in life , one needs to take a chance…I believe there is nothing called a ‘perfect’ love…two people just work to make it work perfectly…sometimes when the sparks run out , love is in realizing and recreating those sparks…. 🙂 Best wishes to your sister… 🙂

  6. I think that the only real test is see of the person you’re marrying (a) inspires you to do more with your life, and (b) does more with his own life. Because when that happens, you can both sway to the music of your own individual life, and still be connected to each other. You can hinge together.

    I really hope your sister has found someone like that. I wish her luck!
    xoxo

  7. Oh you are right.. Love cannot be entirely a practical decision. Not atall. Read some of Rumi ..the madness of words..and the sensation it brings along with it.. And before finding love I think one has to got to know more of self first..and that’s when you know who makes you feel like living up this life a little bit more..

    • Love should if not for anything else, make you a better person 🙂
      Which is why it is always better to be in a relationship that stems from mutual admiration and not the need to be dependent on someone else..

  8. This reminds me of one of the conversation I had with PI. Only difference is, it was I who tried telling him all this… Anyways, there is only so much one can do, right?

    Best wishes to your sister and to your family. Have fun with all the festivities 🙂

  9. marriage is gambol for life. no one knows when and who changes with passage of time. many couples have happily lived enjoyed and shared all reliefs and griefs of life together and celebrated their golden jubilee wedding anniversary too:) so don’t bother your brain so much. if love someone dearly then go ahead 🙂 marry him

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