Patience and Attractiveness

This blog post probably is a rant and requires is going to contain a bit lot of detail and backdrop.

Currently I’m busily and quite musically and happily tapping my fingers on the keyboard taking intermittent sips of chai, one that Ma describes to be ridiculous, since I like it strong, consisting of a lot of decoction and a little milk and extremely sweet too. I watch Ma getting ready to go to the market.

And she has bucket loads of patience! I always roam around in a loose t-shirt, shorts and slippers and do not hesitate twice before running errands from the nearby market in this attire but Ma has a complete dressing up process before she ventures out. From carefully matching her dupattas and bindis to applying that extra coat of lipstick to combing and tying her hair neat.

Just today morning Ma almost shrieked when she looked at how I was going to class, since I woke up at 7.20 for a class that starts at 7.15, I obviously did not have time to fret about my appearance and also because it is a Sunday and I’m at my lazy best, I decided to go with a t shirt that I wear at home occasionally and jeans and wore a jerkin and then caged my wild hair into a bun firmly held by a clip.

I do not have the time and patience to dress up. The only cosmetic goods that I possess are- a body lotion, bottle of lacto calamine, lip balm and kajal. And women have patience, when I reached class at 7.45 am, I found a barrage of girls, dressed to the T! With their hair tied in whatever fashion that was currently raging to color coordinating their clothes-earrings-bracelets- footwear and what not!

How on Earth do women find the time to dress up at such an ungodly hour is beyond my understanding!? I did away with earrings because if I wore green earrings to match a green top and forgot to change them the next day while I wore a pink top, then I would look plain hideous!

And the fact that I have blonde streaks! Which is a mishap since I intended to get blue streaks which turned navy blue thanks to the incompetent hair dresser and doesn’t show against my jet black hair and unfortunately in all the excitement, she managed to streak them to a honey-blonde color too, thus invoking stares and songs that contain phrases like ‘zulfon ka rang sunehra’ (roughly meaning – girl with golden hair).

Okay, maybe this is too much of a rant but women in general have a high threshold of pain and patience. Despite being 23, I still scream in agony while getting my eyebrows done and have restricted it to a one time yearly event and in the process receiving glowering stares from other 15-16 year olds who do it without even muttering an ‘ouch!’, and you have the waxing, upper lip, Jeez! Whoever did tell women that body hair is inacceptable!?

And the stupid jokes about women taking too much time to dress up, yeah let us try running around that way for a day and those jokes will halt to a freaking stop.

Plus if you are an Indian woman then lo and behold, every occasion requires a certain attire, if you dress up in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt at a temple then you would probably be cursed to no extent by the priest and random fellow women; same goes with the competitive dressing at weddings, you have to outshine the bride under any circumstance; any outing be it even a casual get together puts in a complex to look good and to impress, now if you wear a salwar kameez, you will be branded a behen-ji and if you are the would-be bride’s sister then an insane extra pressure to look good that makes no sense at all is which is what I’m undergoing now 😦

Thus, cutting my rant short, women already have to deal with a lot of issues, so the next time your friend/ girlfriend/ wife/ lover/ ma/ sister isn’t at her attractive best, just drop a little compliment, it helps us that you aren’t only bothered about our physical appearance. To all the women out there, if you aren’t feeling too good about your looks, then just smile, nothing makes you shine like putting on a heartfelt smile and be comfortable in how you look and not require external confirmations for the same! 🙂


61 thoughts on “Patience and Attractiveness

  1. Lol..i know right! I put in zero amount of effort to work each day and get yelled at by mom everyday :-/ And i see all these girls looking all prim and proper. Worst part is people expect you to put in all that effort too. I have to say that i do put in the effort and dress up once in a while. Like to see the surprised look on peoples faces then 😉

  2. this is so true. damned if you do and damned if you don’t. i m bit like you, i go for the basics and still envy those how do all that othere stuff day in day out. Although white australian, i have seen that competitiveness at indian weddings. but i love all the bright colors and elegance.

  3. haha Oh i get what you mean.. I am frumpy best at home and jeans and a tee are my fav attire.. Makeup? I got a bit kept at home which expired years ago(honest still have the old Revlon lipstick someone gifted in 2001).

    Oh and getting dressed at 7 Bloody AM! so not going to happen.. I tried it once for a wedding and it was exhausting.

    An ex boyfriend once commented how I dont care about my looks since I agreed to go out to buy some chips and beer wearing old baggy comfy pants and equally worn out tee .. He always was snide about it !

    Ah well the stuff women have to deal with ..My fav quote from Helen Fielding

    “Being a woman is worse than being a farmer there is so much harvesting and crop spraying to be done: legs to be waxed, underarms shaved, eyebrows plucked, feet pumiced, skin exfoliated and moisturised, spots cleansed, roots dyed, eyelashes tinted, nails filed, cellulite massaged, stomach muscles exercised.

    The whole performance is so highly tuned you only need to neglect it for a few days for the whole thing to go to seed. Sometimes I wonder what I would be like if left to revert to nature — with a full beard and handlebar moustache on each shin Dennis Healey eyebrows face a graveyard of dead skin cells spots erupting long curly fingernails like Struwelpeter blind as bat and stupid runt of species as no contact lenses flabby body flobbering around. Ugh ugh. Is it any wonder girls have no confidence?”

  4. Keeping the discussion on your rant aside, I want to talk about your “chai” quotient. Here are the ways I like it (for 1 cup)

    1) Four teaspoons of powdered milk (or the equivalent amount in liquid)
    2) Three teaspoons of liquor tea (That’s then minimum. It increases proportionally to my mood.)
    3) Two teaspoons of sugar.
    4) Water calculated precisely by experience, so that the chai doesn’t feel less denser than any chocolate shake.
    5) This is the weirdest thing you’ll be reading. Ever seen a child waiting for the last drop of Bournvita to come down, with the mug inverted in the air? That’s how I finish my chai.
    6) And when it’s coffee, my cup weeps silently when it gets washed 😛

    Let me know your’s.

    • Haha 😀

      1) take a tall glass and fill it with water upto maybe 3/4th of its volume (yes, i drink chai like sharbat! 😀 )

      2) the baccha kucha volume is to be filled up with milk that is to be strained because i hate the malai

      3) because i’m a lazy bum, i boil the milk and paani saath mai… Wait till it boils to the point that the milk threatens to overflow from the pan

      4) sim the flame and put in 2-3 huge teaspoons of red label chai patti and let it simmer away for 5-7 minutes

      5) once it gets a dark brownish colour, take it off the flame and strain it

      6) put in 3-4 full heap spoonful of sugar and enjoy the same with atleast 6 marigold biscuits! 😀

      7) have tea with a spoon so that it lasts longer and act like a hungry dog and try to lick off the little remnants of extra sugar at the bottom of the glass! 😛

      Ma says ki i have chai and bournvita milk aise that pepde kende cholejaabe 😀 😛

  5. you are not the rarest of the rarest specimen. you have a lot of company. All I can say is you are managing your time properly. keep it up.

    One of my college sir told me when I was half an hr late to class, you should manage your time better. I managed it so well that I didn’t see him much for that semester 😛 Either I would be in the class sleeping or I won’t be there at all.

  6. I take minimum half an hour to get ready 😛 I really hate combing my hairs or making a pony because it hurts! I leave them open always and my teachers at school would say “sirf muh dhoke aagayi” huh :/ But I do love makeup, especially red lipsticks, I just want to own every shade of it! Once I uploaded a pic of mine in which I was wearing a pink lipstick but it looked dark pink/red in the picture probably because flash and one guy messaged me saying “tum Iss lipstick me married lagti ho” and I was like…

    I didn’t know lipstick shades can change a woman’s marital status!!!!!!!!

    and then there’s other side of it, if I don’t apply makeup people be like hey u look so pale why don’t u put on some makeup to look girly

    I always try to be myself. Sometimes I’m in no mood to do makeup and stuff so I don’t do it, it has to be my choice and not theirs 😐

  7. hehehe me used to do the same things.. as my college was just 5 mins away. But, i remember a girl in my team at work, who used to color co-ordinate dress, chappals, ear-rings, neck pieces, clips, and finally the bag too!!! phew! and her room-mate told me, she would keep all the stuff ready on the dressing table before she went to sleep!!

  8. My mom flips over if I don’t have earrings when I step out (eshob kii):P She is trying to get used to it…heheh 😀

  9. I usually dress impeccably for work or for dates with Mister and I’ll admit I never look completely shabby because I have my own tricks. I only wear basic silver hoops. That way all my jewelry matches my steel watch and I don’t really have to think twice.

    • Oh you have patience!! 🙂

      I have a skin allergy because of which unless its a pure metal in the likes of gold/silver, i can’t wear it! 😦 not even a watch! 😥

      And i lost a pair of really expensive diamond studs and that i swore would be the last of expensive jewellery atleast till i don’t start buying some of my own out of my own money!

  10. It’s funny…it’s mostly when I leave my house looking like a disaster when I see someone that I haven’t seen for a while. Of course they will look perfectly attired and I’ll have a t-shirt, worn jeans and unshaven for a day or two. But, I do like to go casual, especially in the summer.

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