I have two sisters, one is older to me by two years and the other one is my twin. I’m effectively the youngest amongst us three, missing the chance to be older than atleast one of my sisters by two odd minutes.
Whenever I talk about siblings I always mention the older one and not my twin sister. There were a few family issues adding to that my health, since I was a premature kid and had a barrage of health problems that led us to live separate lives. I grew up with my parents and the twin sister grew up with my grandparents and my Ma’s brother and sister back at Calcutta.
Despite the physical distance between us, we managed to talk on call every day and visited her at Calcutta every year during summer vacations, winter vacations, durga puja holidays or any holiday that gave us a few consecutive days off. Somehow down the line, the daily calls became weekly ones and the visits became cold.
We would get a stipulated amount of pocket money every month which I would save and get my twin a gift, every time that I visited her. But then the response that I got to it every time that I gifted something to her was disheartening. From carelessly tossing it away to criticizing it in every manner possible, all that it did was hurt me a lot. Every year on our birthdays I always would call her dot at 12, and she would either cut my call or not pick up and would send a same to you reply to my happy birthday message days later.
Puberty had not been kind to me so during the growing up phase I had bouts of skin rash and suddenly put on weight and she made maximum fun of me during that period, so much that I would dread visiting my own sister. She was slightly obsessed with looking beautiful and would stand in front of the mirror the entire day and tell me how I was not good looking.
Now that I have the required maturity to understand why she behaved the way that she behaved, I’m still unable to shake off all those bad memories. We hardly ever talk, even if I go to visit her, she refuses to meet us or dishes out bad behavior, though it has remarkably improved in the past 2 years.
My parents keep nudging and pushing both me and my elder sister to talk to her but even if I do its very difficult for me to accept her as my sister, sure she is more like a distant friend except for the fact that we look the same and share the same set of relatives.
We are of similar temperaments, we share the same passion for arts and music and are both short tempered but very different as people. Exterior beauty doesn’t matter for me, never did and never will. I love books and she loves make up.
At times when we meet, I feel like I’m looking at a mirror but I don’t recognize the person on the other end.
She now tries to build communication with me but because I have already seen how foul she can be, I stay away. Sometimes I wonder that if situations were different, would we ever be able to be sisters? if not sisters then atleast cordial enough to acknowledge each other’s presence.