It’s been a few months since I laughed out loud, ever since I knew that things have been going downhill between me and him. Not that I sit with a frown plastered on my face, just that I don’t feel like my old self, one that laughed at all times.
No! Seriously! I laugh all the time! There was once when I fell off a chair at office, apparently it was broken which I didn’t notice and I fell, with a thud. It was so freaking painful and all I could manage was to laugh out loud, with everyone else staring at me with a look that asked if I had lost it! 😛
So coming back to the original issue, I do smile politely and fake laugh just because I’m tired of answering that I’m fine and the break up isn’t the reason that I wasn’t laughing like my mad self.
However something almost short of a miracle happened, I had a wedding in my family and the event went on for three days (sat, sun, mon). Very reluctantly I went for the wedding; somehow I’m not fond of family gatherings majorly because I’m asked awkward questions that are marriage related.
There was a mehendi and a ‘cocktail’ party on Saturday, the only part that I was looking forward to was the food and drinks since all of us were dead tired travelling to the resort which was on the outskirts of the city adding to that the bloody traffic on the way.
So there we were the ladki wale and unfortunately me and my sister were the only female relatives and had to break the ice with the ladke wale. Further since I’m blessed with two left feet and was pulled on to the dance floor, I stood there like a statue for as long as I can remember, awkwardly smiling at any anyone who attempted to pull me on to the dance floor.
Out of nowhere, a guy walks up to me introducing himself as the groom’s brother and asked if I wanted to have a drink. I thanked my stars since I now had a legit reason to get away and told him yes. We had two drinks and then started talking about each other, just random talk about exes and work and life in general. He was not only good looking but charming as well and somehow I found myself at ease talking to him and I laughed, laughed and laughed like my old self.
We did dance for a while since I gave the mehendi function a miss, and then ended up talking for the next two days and meeting each other very frequently, the flirty talk and texts and calls did the trick for me. Not that I have any intention of dating him but then I felt good, I could laugh again and for once I didn’t think about him and have that stabbing pain.
Maybe it’s true that when something is very funny, I would laugh and be my normal self. But all that I can think about for now is that I’m getting better; that someday I will be able to move on and look back at this relationship and not feel pain, and will hopefully just remember the happy times.