As I pass by the hallway, every single day, I see you.
Sometimes I pause to gaze and at other times I rush past.
Sometimes I ignore you, as a means of revenge.

I remember how this painting hungΒ in your bedroom.
Of how you gave it to me, so that it would remind me of your presence.
And it did, the painting was an extension of you.
Peaceful, calm,serene and unfazed.

But now that I look at it, I’m reminded of a different you.
One who kept his distance and didn’t want to be attached.
One who was cold and was willing to be done with the relationship at the slightest hint of problems.
One who termed the time that we spent in each other’s arms before you left as ‘separation anxiety’.

They say when hope shatters and dreams are killed,
there is no sound and no bloodshed.
But every morning when I look at my red stained eyes,
I’m constantly reminded of a different reality.


21 thoughts on “Cold

  1. Every time I look into the mirror and see myself, I’m reminded of him. Every time. Even to this date. This because he was the one who taught me to feel good about myself, the one that told me I was beautiful. Every single day until a few weeks back I would wake up in the morning, walk into the bathroom, see myself in the mirror and cry. Made me dread waking up each morning. Things are better now. I still think about him but I’m reminded of a better time and it doesn’t hurt as much anymore. I hope you get there soon. Hang in there *hugs*

    • This so eerie…I too wake up in the mornings and can’t bear to look at myself in the mirror because it reminds me of how we would look at ourselves in the mirror and that brings back so many memories…I too have a complex that I’m not great looking and he kept reassuring me that I was beautiful for him…now that I type this I can feel something tug, in my heart. There have been very few nights when I haven’t gone to sleep without crying..

      • 😦 wish I could say something to make you feel better.
        Keep penning down your thoughts or find an outlet that suits you. I had to write it all out and just get it all out of my system. See what works for you.

      • I’m trying to keep myself busy, the entire day…I have classes in the morning and then work and then gym, I just keep hoping that I’m tired enough at night to just sleep, I don’t want those thoughts or memories… I just want my mind to be blank

  2. Hey story teller. I just saw yous and la sua principessa’s comments above and wanted to tell you guys that please don’t depend on someone to feel good about yourselves, be it looks or anything else. May be, this comment would come across as being preachy or something like that, but you are perfect the way you are.

    Of course, when relationships break, you feel lost and rightly so. But time will heal all that. I just wish you well girl. You are really a great person. Come around soon. πŸ™‚

    • Thank you πŸ™‚ Its not about depending, just that when you have a support system that suddenly vanishes you are left in the lurch for a while, we will definitely get out of it though πŸ™‚

      • I also think that, although there are many who wish to help, there is a certain grieving period that has to be experienced before we can move forward.

      • True! πŸ™‚
        I seem to have realised it now, back then and at times even now, there are days that everything becomes over whelming.
        One moment I’m fine and smiling and then suddenly someone calls out his name or some thing connected with an old memory presents itself in front of me and I go back in time..

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