Alone or lonely?

Today afternoon I went for a movie. In the elevator I bumped into a guy I knew at school, he was with his girlfriend and we chatted for a while. The part of the conversation that ticked me off:

He: So, where is your boyfriend?

Me: I have come to watch the movie alone (smiling politely)

He: Ah, what a waste of dressing up (weird expression on his face with one eyebrow lodged higher than the above).

Me: Hahaha (I must have mentally punched him twice)

He: How sad, you know what I mean right? (Winks at me while his girlfriend tugs at his arm)

Me: No, I don’t.

Within seconds the elevator’s doors opened up, I gave him my most polite ‘I’m trying not to punch you in your face, jackass’ smile and walked away mildly irritated. Mid-way through the movie my phone starts buzzing like crazy, when I check it there are messages from 3 of my friends (just hello hi acquaintances) enquiring what is wrong since I went to watch a movie alone. I mean, hello!? What on Earth is wrong with people?

Why can’t someone go watch a movie in peace, alone? Similar incidents like these have happened earlier too. There was once when a woman and her boyfriend walk in mid-way during a movie and I had to bear the discomfort due to my innate love for aisle seats, she then turns at me and tells me twice that the seats next to me belonged to her and that if my guy comes later she isn’t going to me. I looked at her wide eyed and told her that I came alone; she gave me a look of shock and whispered something into her partner’s ear. What followed next was that all through the interval I kept getting pity stares!

Same thing when I was having a conversation with my neighbor who kept cribbing that he wanted to watch a movie but didn’t have any company so when I suggested that he go alone, he gave me a bewildered look saying that he doesn’t want to look desperate and lonely by going alone. Similar crappy reactions from the others too!

There is a difference between being lonely and alone, I for one like going to movies alone, it saves me from depending on the plan of others or getting late for the movie which really ticks me off since I’m not good with dark places and generally prone to accidents and stumbling over things.

Are we that dependent on people that we need companionship for every single thing? Can we not enjoy our own company? Why is it considered that when you spend time with yourself, doing things on your own, you are either depressed or lonely?

Somehow I don’t gel well with people and crowded and loud places make me a tad bit uncomfortable, that way I like spending time either nestled in the comfort of my home reading a book or hogging at the nearby pizza or chaat place or watching movies alone. This is my idea of being comfortable in my skin and I don’t think it makes me seem like a depressed and lonely soul but then if it does, then so be it.

Spend some time with yourself to get to know the inner you in a better way and you will discover what your true self looks like, feels like, what your areas of interests are and what makes you happy.

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34 thoughts on “Alone or lonely?

  1. Doing stuff like watching a movie or having coffee at a nice cafe alone, it’s fun. Not having to wait for anybody, or being interrupted by some stupid joke or anecdote you do not really care about is the best part.

  2. I like being alone too. Gives me personal time. Being a introvert I am absolutely comfortable being alone. It also gives you the freedom to sulk as much as you want without anyone asking why.

  3. Being an introvert that I am being alone is something I love. It gives me time to think about things without interruption. Also it lets me sulk without anyone anyone asking me why.

  4. I know at least a bunch of people who go to movies alone. They are known as movie buffs not lonely or alone. Don’t worry about petty people with pettier thought process 🙂

  5. I don’t think theres anything wrong in going for a movie alone.. I went today for one all by myself… and I don’t think theres any harm in doing so.. so you are not alone 🙂

  6. I haven’t watched a movie in a theater in ages because I have no company to go most of the times. Yes, I am one of those people :-/
    Ive gone shopping alone couple of times and my cousins refused to believe I was shopping and thought I was sneaking out to see a boy!!
    I have gone out for meals alone a handful of times and ive found it mighty difficult. This just makes me want to eat as fast as I can and leave.
    Having experienced all this I dont think I’ll ever be able to go for a movie alone. So big ups to you, girl!

    • I was initially petrified but then I found it quite enjoyable…the eating alone thing I love doing because I love to eat, so no other explanations required. I hate / dread shopping so if I do make up that excuse I know of the weird looks I’m going to get. If I do go on a date, I openly announce the same and people think I’m kidding, what the hell!? The truth has no value nowadays 😛

      But seriously though try not thinking about it much, just go for a movie, eat at some random favourite place and go strolling around the city or surfing books at crosswords and take my word for it, you will like it! 🙂

  7. I have asked the same question several times. I question why society judges, and why there seems to be a need to depend on others, or that there is some obligation to be paired off with someone. I prefer to travel alone, shop alone, complete tasks alone, drive alone, cook alone. I enjoy those moments. crowds and moments of success, I am lonely. I think of how it would have been if life had been different – if the people that mattered were still around to share my moments of joy, I would have not been lonely. But since no-one shall fill that gap, I am fine being alone.

    • So true, I at times feel bad when I see a gang of friends or when I’m in their company… But that is temporary, and I get back in my element… Somehow I’m selfish too, I want to do the things that I like and being alone gives me that liberty…

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