How would your life be different if you were incapable of feeling fear? Would your life be better or worse than it is now?
If I was incapable of feeling fear all together, I would end up making a huge massacre on the streets. Thrashing every guy who winks, leers, stares, tries to touch me, sings songs and the likes. Most times I give them a threatening glare to back off and at times shout but if I were completely fearless then I would end up resorting to violence and breaking their very jaw or beating the daylights out of them.
At times I wish I could swing a baseball bat and topple the guys on bikes who tease and try to touch and break their bones with it later on. Most of my fear is due to the concern about safety that my ma has ingrained deep till inside my bones.
I wish just not me but many other women like me become completely fearless and try to stop these incidents. Its better to nip cases like these in the bud before then snowball in horrendous things like murder, acid attacks and rapes.
Sharing an incident:
This happened to me about 3 years ago. I was walking back home on the main road which has a junction at some distance and a few arterial lanes. People on the bikes usually try to travel in the opposite direction through the lanes to get to the signal because if they do follow the traffic rules, they would have to travel a few metres more for the U Turn.
Just as I was crossing through one of those lanes, 2 guys come out of nowhere on their bikes screech right in front of me, almost about to hit me, look at my terrified expression and laugh loudly. Since I got super pissed I hurled out a few abuses loudly and continued walking, within a few minutes I hear loud honking of vehicles.
As I turn back I see the guys have now got their friends and stop my way and ask me what did I just say. I repeated what I said and asked them as to why they were irritating me for no reason and made my way to continue walking. They kept following and blocking my way, and mind you all this in broad daylight with a bus stop and a junction where the traffic police are present nearby.
I got into the lane that leads to my home and since the apartment where I stay is quite a walk, I took refuge in one of the random buildings and hid in the parking lot. I requested the watchmen to not let those guys in since they stood right in front of the building and kept honking. They stayed there for what seemed like ages to me while I tried to remain calm, my heart pounding loud and my head in a mess.
I managed to dial my parent’s number but they weren’t at home and I must have sat there for an hour and didn’t leave till my ma didn’t come to get me home. Since that day my ma has warned me against opening my mouth and shouting back purely because the consequences can be anything.
I still remember what she told me, “It is better to stay alive and safe and rant about this than back answer and get killed and raped, atleast you have a voice now.”
A similar incident happened to earlier too, you can read about it here.
What I want for anyone who reads this is to feel fearless, to know that despite the bad if atleast one of us makes an effort to curb these acts, your place becomes safer. If not for anything else you can save someone else from facing what you have faced.