If you could paint your current mood onto a canvas, what would that painting look like? What would it depict?

This sure has come at the right time, currently my mood is a mixture of various things.

First there is my heart, with wings to fly any where it wishes to and to anyone yet caged. Trapped and caged within expectations of my parents, teachers and envy. I have always been super competitive, trying my best to outshine every other rat in the race yet there is a part of my heart that yearns to get away and break free, to escape into the world of wanderlust. Since I have right about 4 months to go for my exams, I’m nervous and tired from attending classes as well as working and then coming back home and studying too.

And there is my relationship, a long distance one. I have already been cheated once and do not want to get hurt again. Unfortunately I’m in love with a commitment phobic. I for sure know that we have no future yet my heart gets pulled to him like a moth to the flame. He has changed a lot since he left, has become distant and cold. We go for days together without talking and messaging; absolute silence. I can’t open the lock of my cage and set free because I know that I can’t since I tried doing it. And I can’t afford to waste time behind this too, courtesy my upcoming exams. 😥

So all you have is a tattered and tired caged heart.




22 thoughts on “Caged

  1. Pingback: Blah in the Mind! | shivansh chaudhary

  2. Is this the same person you wrote your latest post about? If it is, I’m sorry to hear he’s become cold and distant. That sounds like bad news.

  3. I know what you are going through..The being cheated on and unable to trust your instincts and questioning every step.

    It is a vicious cycle and the only way is to stop overthinking-easier said than done..

    • I know, no matter what any one says, it is only when you go through something this painful do you realize. I got cheated on with my best friend (at that point of time)! Just imagine!

      • Being cheated on is painful being cheated on with your best friend is betrayal.

        I got cheated on two times -it was painful and shook my confidence in humanity,love and trust and all the good things.

        I am learing to just let go..the past is history

      • no ! it is memories yes.. bad yes.. I learned from them and It was part of growing up and learning.

        I dont feel terrible talking or thinking about it anymore- infact became friends with the girl my ex cheated with me on .. lol we both got drunk and bitched how mean and stupid and useless he was and how such strong women allowed him to demean us..

        time always heals

      • Haha! 😀 Same!

        We too got back to talking a few months back but I still can’t wrap my head around the idea of being ‘best’ friends with her again. Its like once trust is lost, it doesn’t magically come back.

      • I don’t know what she feels…we talk once in a while and its normal talk like how we would in college but somehow I don’t feel like talking to her…it isn’t that I hold any grudge against her, I just don’t feel like talking..

  4. Pingback: Flash Fiction / Short Story – “Give Peace A Chance” | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

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