As per plan I woke up late, later than my normal scheduled time that I follow on weekdays. Usually I wake up early, a habit imbibed in my by “him”, initially I cribbed about it. I am not a morning person, I atleast need gallons of coffee in me to function well and not snub others. But slowly I got used to it and discovered that waking up early actually did give me a lot of time; to prioritize my daily workload both at office and at home, to either read a book or meditate, to go to the gym on time, or to finally make the breakfast recipes that I had bookmarked in my favorites on the browser.
Despite all the advantages, there is a different feel to waking up at your own pace, no harsh sound of the alarm ringing and no running around the entire day. Ah! Bliss!
I wake up lazily and roam around the house aimlessly. The weather outside was cold, almost tempting me into snuggling back in the bed sheets. I brushed, made a club sandwich and picked up a romantic book, out of the many that I had in my collection.
My reading process suddenly interrupted by a call from my mother, we talked in length about our daily routine, she told me about what was going on at the school she worked, petty talk about the relatives and ended our conversation just like she always did, by put in subtle hints that it was time that I thought about settling down since all the children of her friends were getting married. Mothers! They have this uncanny knack of nagging and I have learnt the golden rule to this- “When you can’t escape it, pretend to listen and later forget it”
Now that I had been separated from my book, I wasn’t in the mood to get back to it. I updated my blog, watched some TV, prepared and had my lunch and finally proceeded to enjoy my afternoon siesta.
I sat on my bed, my thoughts drawn to him yet again. It was on days like this that we would spend our maximum time together. I would drop by at his place in the morning, we would cook lunch together or dine out incase both of us were feeling lazy or on days that I would force him to go out with me and then come back, wear his clothes and enjoy a good afternoon’s sleep.
I still remember his touch, the way he would spoon me and rest his face on the nape of my neck with his breath lightly brushing my hair. While sleeping his hands would occasionally trace the length of my arms, I would push myself a bit, deeper into his arms and indulge in the raw smell of his skin. His skin, oh it was all soft and supple! I would occasionally tease him that he must have been a prince in his last life to be blessed such smooth skin. Midway through our nap, he would ask me to turn around and face him. He then would rest his face in my arms, pull me closer and entwine our legs.
I woke up from bed, feeling uneasy; his memories were beginning to smother me. I wanted to call him, to tell him how much I loved and missed him, but I refrained. We both had to find our ways back to each other; I didn’t want to force him. If spiritual attainment was important to him then so be it. I loved him so I set him free, hoping that someday he would come back. I read our love letters, the numerous ones that we had written to each other over 6 years, I laughed and cried and read them over and over again. I held them to my chest for a moment and safely put them back.
It was past 4, I got up and made myself a cup of coffee, I smiled; he had taught me how to make it his way. Over the years I had become more of a reflection of him and his habits, I picked the ones that I knew would help me. My flaring temper had now reduced to a manageable one, I started waking up early, I exercised and ate right, made no excuses for my actions, did only those things that kept me happy and most important enjoyed solitude.
I plonked on the couch with the cup of coffee in hand and my laptop, I checked out if there were any new movies running at the theatres and planned my evening. A movie at 6 and a dinner treat to myself for sticking to my exercise and diet schedule, after all I was allowed to cheat once a while.
The door bell rang; I walked up to the door with my coffee cup in hand, opened it and found him standing at my doorstep.
Initially I thought I was hallucinating.
“Oh good! There is still time to keep my promise huh?” he inquired, his boyish grin accompanying the question.
“What?” I asked half surprised half dazed.
“Will you ask me to enter in or do you want us to have our first date on the doorstep? I haven’t forgotten you see” he answered with a wink.
I let him in, and I could hear the sound of things setting right in place, the gears of time had reset to 3 years back, like the missing part of the puzzle of my life had finally been placed.