I jogged my way up the stairs, 7 down and 3 more floors to go, I thought. Just as I reach the top floor, half panting like a dog, I stop; I put down my yoga mat and handbag and hold onto the railing. After the initial feeling of fatigue washes me over, I start walking towards my class.
As usual I’m late; I choose my spot towards the end of the room not wanting to disturb the existing crowd and lay down my mat to start the regimen.
“Namaste! Let us begin by closing our eyes, then observing our breathing and finally concentrating all our thoughts towards the happy place”, the instructor instructed.
I command my brain to take me to my happy place and refrain it from playing any movie songs in my head.
“Hi!” he told, a calm smile reflecting on his face.
“Hi” I replied back, I was feeling a mixture of emotions, I was happy to see him but also annoyed that he wasn’t as excited as I was.
“So, this is your happy place? My room? Really?” he enquired with a twinkle in his eye.
“Ah! Yes, this is the same question that you ask me every single day. Please feel free to bask in the flattery; by the way it is not your room per se which my happy place but you!” I replied back.
He sat there for a while just looking at me and smiling.
Oh! How much I miss him, his smile, his sarcasm and our comfortable silence.
“So, I don’t see a lot of shoes around” I say, a desperate attempt to start a conversation.
“What?” he asks, with his charming half amused expression.
“Well you always told me that promise breakers are shoe makers”, I said.
“Now when did I break a promise? He questioned.
“We still didn’t go out on our first date” I complained.
“We have had so many dates!” he answered, confusion clearly visible on his face.
“We didn’t have the coffee date that we planned for our first date! So that makes you a promise breaker” I replied back smoothly.
“So, how do you like Rahul? Seems like a decently good guy. You always wanted stability and security, looks like he can give you the same. And may I remind you that it has been 5 days since he asked you out but you still never replied back. Long overdue don’t you think?” he interrogated.
“Don’t change the topic! Why should I date other people when I have you?” I replied back.
“You have to move on” he advised.
“We have still not broken up; our relationship is on a pause. Just because we become distant doesn’t mean we stop loving each other. Once you do realize the same and get back, we can start off where we left” I answered back coolly, now the ball was in his court and I would love to see how he would dodge that one.
Just as he opened his mouth to answer, he vanished! I felt someone pat my hand.
Irritated I opened my eyes and found Mahi, my yoga class friend, looking at me with hope and anticipation, like she expected me to declare her the winner of a lottery!
“What?” I ask her.
“I have been asking you whether we could double date! I found a really nice guy to set you up with and if you say yes then let’s confirm plans for tomorrow!”She squealed with delight.
I gave her my not-interested look, collected my belonging, walked out of the class and into the elevator as I heard her tell me how fantastic the guy she was setting me up with is.
I was having my peculiar case of “physically present but mind absent”. I didn’t want anyone to talk, I just wanted some quiet. It was silence that brought him to me. He came to me when I was alone at home or in the shower or when I was sipping coffee at a coffee shop.
Today exactly marks 3 years. 3 years of our separation, though I wouldn’t term it so.
Both of us relocated to new cities and got lost in our busy schedules. I was concentrating my efforts into climbing the corporate ladder and he into getting spiritual. Unknowingly the messaging became far less frequent and the once in a while calls too stopped.
Since I was living all alone in a new city, I became busy setting my life in order and chasing my dreams and he discovered that all the relationships were ultimately some or the other form of attachment and unless he got out of them he wouldn’t attain the higher purpose of life.
As I made my way out of the building with my friend who was still chattering, I noticed that it had started drizzling. What a wonderful way to start the weekend! I pulled out my car keys, bid goodbye to my friend and thanked God, for tomorrow I would be able to sleep late! I could almost listen to his disapproving “Tchh” but I laughed it away and drove back home.